Seven years married to my best friend

Yesterday (Monday) exactly seven years ago me and my wife said "yes" and commenced our journey together through life as husband and wife. Suffice to say, we still love each other and currently we are celebrating our anniversary traveling only two of us (we left our 3-year old daughter with my parents). As every young couple we've had our ups and downs but I think that over the years what was the key to our successful (so far!) relationship was this: My wife is my best friend.


When Harry met Sally

This is our favorite movie as it's quite similar to our story in some sense... We met in high-school and instantly became very good friends. We both liked dancing, partying and going to the movies. We had many things in common. Yet we never "clicked" romantically. As we grew older our friendship matured. I had my share of relationships with other girls, my wife with other guys, we'd consult one another and help each other in trying times. All as friends. Even though I considered my friend "sexy" I didn't want to spoil this perfect friendship. We both didn't want that... but we eventually couldn't help it. We were falling in love and finally we stopped being just friends. We've known each other a little over 10 years when we got married. Crazy, huh?

A key to successful marriage is Friendship

In one of his blog posts Michael Hyatt writes the very same thing and he has more than 30 years of marriage to confirm that, but as we live in our relationship 7 years now and have friends who are couples (married and not... and not anymore) we have also noticed that love and sex are great (and they really are!), but at the end of the day, it's the friendship that helps you stay together every single day.

The worst that can happen is that you spend an evening with the person you like most

When my wife was doing an internship in an European Agency we would party a lot with our friends who were also interns and most of them were singles. They had to go out as much as they could... as their alternative was a lonely apartment. We partied a lot, but when we didn't feel like it, we'd always enjoy a quiet evening, because either way we were spending it with a person we liked the most anyway. And this is what counts.

Friends and buddies change... your significant other does not

Over the years I've had many good buddies, great friends and fantastic pals... but times changed, we moved, they moved, we keep in touch but priorities also change. My wife is still with me and she's still my best friend. And I do hope she's here to stay :-)

Learn to be friends if you're not yet...

We've seen couples base their relationships on different things than friendship... and it works OK for them short-term, but with years the fact that they don't share interests together and just plainly don't spend "fun" time together pays its dues. They start living separate lives. And I don't think it's ever too late to become a friend (and hopefully the best friend) of your significant other.

"She wants what's best for me and I want what's best for her"

These words aren't mine. My father (36 years married to my mother) said this to me before my wedding day when I asked him about his secret to a long, lasting and loving marriage. Everyone who knows my parents knows they live by this rule to this day. And they are best friends, too - even though they got married one year after they first met.

I didn't write this post to brag. I don't know what the future holds and I'm happy with me and my wife (and my daughter) and our small milestone today. I'm just happy that I'm married to my "sexy" best friend :-)

What's your key to a successful relationship?

Posted on Wednesday, April 25, 2012 (life)

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Apr 25, 2012 08:20
Michael, I wish you all the best - to you and your wife!!! - I like your post and approach demonstrated hereby :-) I have a similar experience - my wife is my best friend. It is going even better now after getting a third child and doing attachment /slow parenting + switching to home schooling in our new large and beautiful house. Common sense of humour and supporting each other (pro-activity, trust, good communication, nothing left to be deducted, all said openly) is key for me. Our discovery of the last year is NVC (Nonviolent Communication, by M. Rosenberg) - worth learning in my opinion.
Apr 25, 2012 10:15
Michael! I think we have many things in common too (don't tell your wife - she could be jealous) :-)

I find much greater value in saying to my wife "I like you" than "I love you". You have to have good reasons to like somebody. There's no reason needed to love him or her. And at the end of the day some reason is the foundation of lasting relationship.

All the best to You and Your Wife!

Augusto Pinaud
Apr 25, 2012 13:49
Michael, Congratulations! or as they will say around the country you are calling home now: En hora buena tio! I wish you for many more!
Michael Sliwinski
Apr 25, 2012 20:00
Thanks everyone for kind words! My wife says hi! :-) I've written the post mainly to highlight how friendship is important to a successful marriage as I think it's not highlighted enough to us when we are searching for a perfect partner.

@Augusto - gracias amigo, asi vamos!

@Jerzy - thanks for the tip and congrats on your new child and new family setup (in this great house!)

@TesTeq - oh yes, we have lots in common, great comment, say hi to your wife from me!

Jul 29, 2012 03:21
Thank you Mia and Linda. I was really happy with the pastel wash of colors in the background of the first photo.